December 22, 2010 § Leave a comment
That I lack care for this blog anymore, I usually write things in my personal diary these days.
I guess because my state of mind is neither here nor there, I can’t seem to find myself feeling anything worthy of an emotional break down on paper (or qwerty, as it were.) This may be due to the fact that I am coming to the end of my run in Melbourne for a while and embarking on a completely unexpected quest to France to take care of children and learn the french language for a year. My 23rd is coming up in 9 days and I am actually excited to turn this age, I’ve always thought of it being an important time for me for everything, emotional and otherwise.
I seem to be finding myself more and more into self improvement, the occult, metaphysics etc. Yet now I am also finding it harder to tolerate insolence and people who have general lack of interest in improving themselves. Perhaps it’s me getting older, perhaps it’s me becoming snobbier and not wanting to have to deal with assholes like I have in the past. Either way, now is the important part where I need to find a good balance.
I seem to be wanting everything immediate, my future where I get to just do abstract paintings, take photographs of beautiful humans, have long haired hippy children who run around bare foot in my tree house in sweden with my partner who loves the music I do, who lives to make love to me and treat me like I am as important to them as their own beating heart. Damn my need to have stability and comfort, I guess this is why acid trips have always been so uncomfortable, because by nature, I don’t want to just “let go”.
I love being an organic person and I have a huge affinity for the feminine and softness in everything, I say what I feel and how it is and I don’t see the point in compromising myself to suit the interests of others, I guess that’s why I am terribly good and also terribly bad at networking. I am rambling at this point, but I suppose it’s good for you as a reader to be aware of at least a small part of who I am, as I hope this reflects in my photography which might I add has been lacking as of late (I am relatively mad at myself for being so lazy). I have a lot of shoot ideas that I want to get done before I leave for France, lets see if I can get my shit together and do this!
Love and Light.